A Thousand Words (really just 450) is Worth a Picture

My sister graduated from Grad school last weekend, so I went to Virginia to celebrate with her.

When I got home Sunday afternoon, Loralai was really happy to see me. So much so that she wouldn't take a nap.

Actually, she had been giving Ashley a hard time all weekend.

So, as a last ditch effort, I was asked to take her out on the porch so Ashley could get some sleep.

Loralai loves the hammock. She seems to really like the way the wind blows in the leaves on the trees, and the chirping of the birds. She gets this look in her eyes. It's an awesome thing watching a little one experience something for the first time and try to make out what it is. So you just watch. I didn't say a word. I just made sure the hammock kept swinging and the wind kept blowing and the birds kept chirping.

Loralai calmed down a bit. She laid down on on her back on my chest and just listened. She was so tired from not napping that she didn't know if she should sleep or wiggle or cry or laugh, so she just lied there, still, listening.

Now, just so you don't think I'm a loon, I don't know what Loralai was doing. She could have just been in a stupor. I like to think she was thinking, taking it all in, relaxing. But it's possible she was just tired.

At any rate, Ashley was inside sleeping, as were the dogs, so I didn't have a person to take a picture of what happened about 15 minutes into the hammock ride.

Loralai fell asleep.

She fought it, as most babies do. She kicked and whined and fussed and spit her pacifier out. And I let her. I just made sure she didn't wiggle off my chest. I gently held the pacifier in her mouth and didn't say a word.

This is what I think Ashley means by quiet confidence. Calm love.

And when she finally relaxed, she turned her little head to the right, still suckin' on that "pacie," and went to sleep.

Now, I don't know how many guys read this, but if you do, and if you've never had kids, let alone a daughter, there's nothing like it. No wave, no river, no cliff, that can give you the rush that you get when you look down and see your infant daughter fast asleep on your chest.

For that moment, I was her rock. She's never felt safer in all her life. She trusts ME.

This little one doesn't care about my past, she just knows that right now, this person is not going to let anything bad happen to her. And it's not conscious. It's instinct.

I surfed today. No comparison.

Take Myself

When I take myself
I take myself too serious
So when i leave myself
I leave myself delirious

Up all night planning the future
makes about as much sense
As setting up camp in the desert
without water or tents

Symmetry in life and patterns in the sky
bring my standards much too high
Random's really not all that bad
When you throw out the question "why?"

So when I take myself
I take myself too serious
So when i leave myself
I leave myself delirious

When I worry and my self esteem gets low
You're always there to inflate it
When my ego get's too big for my noggin
You're always there to deflate it

So when you're down again about the changes going on
And all the overwhelming emotion building up inside
Take comfort in me baby, I'm here for whatever you want
It's never about this silly thing called foolish pride

So when I take myself
I take myself too serious
So when you leave myself
You leave myself delirious

Daughter - Peter Blegvad

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she says she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
She takes the heart
Everything she takes
She takes apart

That's my daughter in the water
Everytime she fell I caught her
Everytime she fell
That's my daughter in the water
I lost everytime I fought her
Yeah, I lost everytime

[musical bridge]

Everytime she blinks
she strikes somebody blind
Everytime she thinks
blows your tiny mind

That's my daughter in the water
Whoo would ever though, ever though
That's my daughter in the water
I lost everytime I fought her
Yeah, I lost everytime